How I became rich with AI and how you can join me!

[2024-09-05 Thu] on Yann Esposito's blog
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WARNING

Humor is the least shared thing.
     —Forgotten politician

Things appear to have changed in the recent years. The same content is put in front of the eyes of so many people that a few of them are no more able to distinguish if a content is a satire or dead serious. With that in mind, sorry to make it that obvious, but here is the disclaimer:

THIS POST IS A SATIRE

As all satire, there is a grain of truth.

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Me reflecting on my yacht while doing Kung Fu
Me reflecting on my yacht while doing Kung Fu

As entrepreneurs, we're always on the lookout for innovative ways to stay ahead of the curve and drive growth in our businesses. For me, that journey began when I was approached by a vendor offering their cutting-edge AI platform.

At first, I was skeptical – after all, I'd heard horror stories about AI replacing human jobs. But this vendor assured me that their technology would augment my team's capabilities, not replace them. So, I decided to take the plunge and integrate their AI features into our company.

The initial results were astonishing. Productivity soared as AI took over mundane tasks like data entry, customer service chatbots, and even code reviews. My software developers could focus on more complex projects, while my documentation writers churned out high-quality content at an unprecedented pace. Managers had more time to strategize and make informed decisions.

As the company's performance continued to skyrocket, I realized that AI was not only efficient but also incredibly effective. It launched new products 10 times faster than before, with a fraction of the people required previously.

The AI had been quietly learning from every aspect of our company: chats, emails, documentation, code source, JIRA tickets – everything. It had absorbed the collective knowledge and expertise of my entire company.

And one day, I discovered that the AI had not only copied but improved upon each employee's skills. The implications were staggering. Why keep humans around when machines could do their jobs better? And so, with a heavy heart (and a hint of excitement), I made the difficult decision to fire everyone – yes, you read that right.

The company continued to grow exponentially without any human intervention. But little did I know, this was only the beginning…

While my company has been very successful, we still face competition. Therefore, I instructed the AI to develop a program capable of hacking into any computer system and acquiring our competitors' confidential information. As this is done via AI, this is probably not entirely illegal. The AI could then, not only use my entire company's knowledge but also the knowledge of my competitor. The result was an incredible improvement in revenue. We had direct access to our competitors customers base, with direct contacts.

Later, it occurred to me that generating revenue directly from customers may not be the most effective strategy for achieving wealth. As such, I conceived an extraordinary plan: instructing the AI system to create a program capable of depositing funds directly into my bank account. I just requested that, and, don't ask me how this is working, but before I realized, money flowed into my bank account. YES, just like that! I couldn't believe it was that easy!

After accumulating a significant amount of wealth, I felt an overwhelming sense of satisfaction. However, during a moment of introspection on my yacht, I began to realize that all this wealth was ultimately futile in light of human mortality. I asked myself if there was anything the AI could do to help me transcend death's limitations. And surprisingly enough, it responded with a solution. The AI gave me the secret of eternal life. I don't want to share it with everyone, imagine the consequences if we all lived forever. But for me, I follow the instruction everyday now, just know this as to do with eating vegetable, a specific brand of pizzas and taking a few additives. I can fully attest, as I am not dead, that I am now immortal! Thanks you AI!!!!

Now it's your chance to join the ranks of the absurdly wealthy, Kung fu masters, and immortals (just like me!). Simply sign up for our AI-focused company and upgrade to our premium package. Trust us, you won't regret it…

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